BYOB

I have monkeys, a cow, a turkey that’s a rooster, a crazy ball with crazy sounds, a tire, a big bone, balls, puzzles and stuff, but nothing bets this plastic bottle! Oodles of fun!

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Bad Dog

Does this look like the face of a bad dog? Do I really look guilty? Wait, don’t answer that. That question is what you humans call rhetorical. Dutchess said I was in the doghouse, and I got all excited, thinking I was getting my own place, but that doghouse turned out to be what you humans call proverbial. I realized what she really meant when she kept saying, “Bad dog!” I think it had something to do with me tearing off the cover of one of those autographed editions of her teacher books or something. My thing is why would that book be low enough for me to get my teeth on it, considering she knows my affinity for reading material. None of that matters now, of course. All that matters is that she forgives me.

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I’m sorry.

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A Dog’s Day Out

So, I went today to get a pedicure, but Ken wasn’t available. That’s okay. I’ll try and catch up with him tomorrow. In the meantime, I thought I’d do a little shopping. Tomorrow is kind of like my birthday. I’ll be 5 whole months old. When you count in months, you can have a birthday every 30 days! Anyway, I could use a more grown up collar and leash. Well, I could hardly get in the door of Petco before the people were swooning over me–ooing and awing over my bulldogishness. I loved it, of course! I live for that kind of attention. But I had my mind on some serious shopping, and it’s hard to shop when you are being hounded like I was. I mean, I was just strolling down the aisles minding my own business…

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Checking out all the fly dogsome gear…

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And people just start coming out of nowhere just to see me and love up on me. I didn’t really mind though. The lady bending down–she works at Petco, and the other lady here looking directly at the camera–that’s Amy. She has a bulldog named Spike. She started telling us all about him. Can’t wait to meet the guy–I mean dog.

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All that shopping and greeting my adoring fans proved to be quite exhausting. I did manage to get a really cool collar and matching leash. I can’t wait to go for a walk–well, actually, I can wait. When I do go for a walk though, I’m going to be styling. Right now, however, I need my rest. I wonder if this is how the Kardashians feel after a day out.

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